Today was a crazy day.  As usual, we went down by the water to feed the ducks and birds. As I opened the window to toss out some food, a seagull above lost bowel control and did a huge poop. Like I said, the window was open. It was a really windy day, especially on the water. You do the math… Taylor was not impressed and told the bird how rude he was.

After we dropped her off at school, the boys and I were driving home and I noticed a huge amount of poop on the back window. I put the rear wipers on and began to spray washer fluid to clean the mess, only it didn’t work. I tried and tried again, to no avail. I couldn’t figure it out. During the third attempt, Jackson started screaming. I figured he was tired because it was nap time and I told him to quiet down and we would be home soon. I sprayed the back window one more time and Jack’s screams intensified. I looked back at a red light and realized that the windshield washer fluid was leaking into my car and splashing my kid. The poor boy. I felt so bad. I cleaned it up and calmed him down and all was well.  I have to take my car in for a service appointment, but at least I know not to use the fluid for now. The entire remainder of the day, Jackson would look at where the leak was in the car and say “No more spray! No more spray!” He was so happy.

Late this afternoon, we took the kids to the car wash since the exterior was covered in poop. The inside was just as bad and was basically a sandbox made of street salt and cheerio dust. The kids had so much fun at the car wash. They were so impressed by the entire concept and they loved that they could help spray all of the cars!

We left the car wash and headed up the street to the diner at Taylor’s request. As soon as we got there, Todd realized that there was a nice iPhone 6 in the front of the car that didn’t belong to either of us. We noticed it also had the license of a man who helped us at the car wash, stuck inside the case. We turned right around to return it. Taylor was a little upset that we weren’t going inside to eat right away but we took the opportunity to explain that this man was missing his phone and returning it would be the right thing to do. I think every single person who worked at the car wash called this phone as we were driving back to return it. I didn’t answer the calls because we were almost there, but they were very clearly looking for it. I jumped out of the car and held the phone up and the guys outside all started cheering and said “He’s inside! You are going to make him so happy!” I went inside, found the man and returned the phone. He was elated. He actually said “I love you! I love you so much! You are such a good person for bringing it back. I didn’t know where it fell out! I’m going to hug you now!” And he did. I assured him that it was no problem and I was happy to return the phone. He insisted on escorting me back to the car and said “Really. You don’t know how much I appreciate this. I don’t have the money to buy a new one. I really wish I had something to give you.” I promised him I wanted nothing in return and that I was just doing what I hope someone would do for me and setting a good example for my kids. He thanked our whole family, told me not to go anywhere, and came back with a card for a free car wash. As we drove away, Taylor said “Mom, he really was happy. That was nice of us to do!”

Even on days where you are literally crapped on, you can still be kind to others.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! We had a special visitor in the middle of the night. Taylor woke up this morning to tell me that there were green footprints all over the bathroom mirror. She was very intrigued.  We quickly realized that a little leprechaun, named Lucky paid us a visit and left his footprints, a note, some chocolate, and a dog bone behind for a St. Patrick’s Day treat. Taylor was so incredibly excited and couldn’t wait to go get her brothers up so she could show them. She also had to call my mom to tell her about it and warn her to check her own bathroom.

My three leprechauns were excited to wear green outfits today, and I have to say; they looked pretty cute. The boys ran around the house chanting “green!” I guess they were in the spirit of the day. Either that, or they were enjoying being just like their big sister.  Taylor did fun projects at school involving St. Patrick’s Day including “Pot of Gold Graphing” and she made a hat with a shamrock (which the boys immediately tried to destroy when they saw her with it on).

After the boys took a too short nap, we went to pick Taylor up from school.  They were being so fresh and not listening at all when I was trying to get them into the car. They were running into the back yard, trying to rip the electrical wires off the side of the house, and throwing rocks. I clipped them into their car seats and told them how I was not happy with the way they were acting and that they needed to be better listeners or they would find themselves spending a lot of time in time-out. They could not even see each other since I was sitting in the seat between them, but they did a “twin thing” and both put their fingers in their ears simultaneously and began saying “la la la la la la” out loud, as I was talking. Let me tell you how hard it was to not crack up as they were doing it. They are so darn fresh!

Just one more small thought for the day before I crawl in a hole and hide:

When your boys are supposed to be napping and instead you hear “Penis, Out! Penis, Out!” followed by “Oh! Hi penis!” it never ends well.

I’m off to Amazon to see if they sell even stronger duct tape.

Taylor and I were sitting in the family room watching a bit of Tom and Jerry (her favorite) before school. The boys wandered off to the playroom to do their thing. I check on them every few minutes, because even though they are in a “safe space,” they still get into trouble. For example; one of their favorite activities is flipping over their comfy Pottery Barn sofa chairs, unzipping them, and pulling apart the foam that’s inside.

Anyway, as we were sitting there, the entire downstairs began to get really warm. The sun was shining down through the sliding glass doors, so I didn’t think too much of it at first. Then, I started to smell something different. It smelled like when our heat kicks on, only a bit different. It was amplified. I walk into the playroom to find out that the boys had turned up the heat. They turned it up to 90 degrees. No joke. If I’m going to be in 90 degree temperatures, I’d prefer it to be an island somewhere. Apparently, when you have one twin steady the tool bench, the other can easily climb atop it and maneuver the heating controls. I watched them attempt it again later in the day, so I know how they managed it. It looks like we are going to need to rearrange the room again or invest in some sort of lock for the heat control…

The kids and I went to a book fair at Taylor’s school today. It was so busy, as school was just letting out, but we had lots of fun. There were so many fun books to choose from. Each kid got to pick one book to purchase. Taylor chose a book about a crayon, that’s called RED. She said she needed that one because “red is my favorite color, you know, because it matches my beautiful red hair.” Fair enough. It was a cute book. Jackson chose a book which was also very fitting for him. It was called I’m Dirty, and is about construction vehicles. Joseph, naturally, and not surprisingly, chose a “choo-choo book” called Freight Train. We also purchased a book for Taylor’s class that the teacher had on a wish list.

The kids definitely kept things interesting and provided entertainment for all of the shoppers, as they are so accustomed to doing.  Jackson destructed an entire display of books. When people say things can happen in a second, it’s true. All I did was let go of his hand for one second to take out my credit card and he knocked over an entire cardboard shelf of books. I’m not talking about four or five books here. He watched at least fifty paper back books rain down around him, and he was proud! If I had been neglectful, it would be one thing, but I was RIGHT THERE getting my credit card. As I was cleaning up his carnage, Joseph went “missing” for a second. I had my body positioned in such a way that I knew he couldn’t get away from me so I wasn’t really worried, but for a split second, I couldn’t see him. He had set up camp under the table (covered with a plastic table cloth) and was reading his new book. He won’t sit still and read a book at home, but there, he needed peace and quiet. Thankfully, my girl was well-behaved, as she usually is. When all was said and done, the woman who was checking us out (and saw our whole circus act play out) looked at me and said “You’re doing a great job, mom. I know I couldn’t handle all of that and you’ve got it covered.” It was the exact thing I needed to hear at that moment. We made it back through the parking lot without dismantling anything further and came right home to read. These little bookworms couldn’t wait and were less than thrilled to pose for a picture.

I mentioned it earlier in the week, but Taylor had a Dr. Seuss week at school. They learned about the famous author, made whimsical art projects, did fun activities and dressed up with a different theme each day.  Taylor had an absolute blast and genuinely looked forward to each day of “being a crazy girl.” One of the projects they did was in conjunction with the book Oh, The Places You’ll Go!  Her teacher asked the kids to draw a picture of what they wanted to be when they grow up. My sweet girl drew a picture of herself as a doctor, complete with a stethoscope in her hands. She has been unwavering in her desire to be a doctor for about two years now. I don’t know if it’s something that she’ll always have a passion for, but we are always proud of her and will always support her dreams, no matter what.  Here are a few pictures from her fun week.

Backwards Day, Crazy Hat Day, Crazy Outfit Day, Crazy Sock Day, & Crazy Hair Day

Taylor actually said to me: “Mama, my beautiful hair is always crazy; how are we going to make it even crazier?” She’s kind of amazing.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go… -Dr. Seuss

Apparently, the running theme the boys are going with this week is POOP. Why stop something they love? As many people know, I duct tape the boys diapers religiously because they strip and take off their diapers. Thankfully, this method has always worked well for us, no matter how odd it may seem to some. The past month, the stripping has been at a minimum. I thought they were showing growth and maturity – or something like that, when really, they were just waiting for me to put my guard down. I almost didn’t tape them at nap time today, but I looked into their devious eyes and went ahead and taped them up.

I am feeling under the weather and actually fell asleep when they did, which never happens. Todd had a half day and went to pick up Taylor and do some errands. When Todd walked in their room upon returning home, I heard “No. No. Seriously. What is wrong with you two! I’m not happy!” This was followed by lots of laughter. Spoiler alert: Todd wasn’t the one laughing.  These hoodlums pooped, stripped, and played in it, although the order in which that happened will never be clear.  That spot you see on Jackson’s sweet forehead in the above picture – poop. It was a manure massacre. There was poop on the beds, sheets, and walls. There was poop on blankets, Mickey Mouse dolls, and Minions. There was poop smeared into the carpet. There was poop on the bureau, in which their dirty duct taped diapers were placed on the top shelf. There was poop on their faces and massaged into their hair like it was some kind of exotic spa treatment. Needless to say, the adults weren’t exactly happy. We divided and conquered. I bathed the fecal twins as Todd began to clean the room. They served a long time out and glared at me the entire time. While doing a check of their room later and scrubbing the carpets, I found a hidden crap ball behind a bed. Thankfully the heat wasn’t on today.

In case anyone was wondering if doing laundry with twin toddlers running around got easier for me after the dryer incident today, I’m here to tell you that it, in fact, did not. It actually went terribly, terribly wrong.

Yesterday, I did a bunch of laundry and left the lid of the washer open, as I always do, so it doesn’t stink. The joke is on me with that one.  As I was cleaning the kids up last night, Todd opened the laundry room door and tossed in the day’s laundry (from each kid) as I finished washing them up. We can only assume that one small child (or children) decided to take the contents of the garbage pail which is front of the washer, and toss everything in the washer. When I looked in the machine this morning I only saw a pile of dirty clothes. I received the surprise of a lifetime when I went to move the clothes over to the dryer.  Not only was that beautifully enlarged diaper wrapped up in my brand new sweatshirt, but I also found at least ten baby wipes, what used to be paper towels and poop. Yes, poop. More precisely, I found balls of human poop mixed in with all of our “clean” clothing. After what I can only describe as the worst fishing expedition of all time, the poop was removed, and everything was re-washed – with LOTS of bleach.

I’m so glad these boys have my back and make sure I’m never, ever bored.

We have been loving the warmer weather lately. The past few days have been absolutely beautiful.  We’ve been able to play outside after school and the kids willingly pushed dinner time back so we can all benefit from the last few moments of sunlight.

I’d like to be able to say that having the kids running around and playing outside has made them much more mellow and relaxed, and better listeners, but that would be a blatant lie. They still cause as much mischief as ever, only they now do it in the fresh air! Just yesterday, instead of playing with toys or going down the slide, they had a secret meeting in which they discussed the best way to attempt pulling the siding off of our house. They went right over and started working on their plan, until they realized they were caught out. Now, this was mostly Joseph’s doing, but Jacks was definitely playing the role of the helpful older brother. We also spent some time chasing them, trying to safely get rocks out of their mouths, that they were actually trying to eat! Again, mostly Joseph. Maybe I’m sensing a pattern… They had a blast though and did manage to behave for a large chunk of time in between, so we’ll take what we can get. These faces are pretty cute to look at, too.

As usual, I had about a million other things gong on as I was writing this post. One of the things was laundry.  It’s always laundry. I took clothes out of the dryer and ran to grab an item of food Ranger shouldn’t have been given out of his mouth. Cleaning up dog poop from an upset belly is not on my to do list today, so I tried to avoid that! Anyway, I turn around, and Jackson is in the dryer. Why? For fun. No, really, why? Because the door was open. Seriously why? I don’t know; my kids are odd. Apparently, he thought it was a wonderful place to hide out with a plate and a rolling pin. He had a blast and was pretty upset when I told him it wasn’t a toy and he needed to get out now. Joseph was equally, if not more angered, that I wouldn’t give him his own turn. As long as they aren’t in true danger, I snap a few quick pictures of whatever mischief they are getting into before safely removing them. Their life stories are better told in photographic evidence. 😉

I shouldn’t even need to post this, but the world is a crazy place. No children were harmed in the making of this post. I promise; they are all safe and currently destroying the playroom.

Taylor’s class is learning about Dr. Seuss this week. They are celebrating him by having a “crazy week” in which they wear crazy outfits, socks, hats, etc. She is having so much fun. I will share pictures of her in her “crazy” outfits later this week.

I offered to bring in a special snack for her class tomorrow, so tonight, we made green eggs and ham! Of course, our green eggs and ham are non-traditional and are a sweet treat, but I’m sure the kids will love them. Taylor helped me make them. She actually did her own batch with the candies I wasn’t using. The boys had no complaints when it came time to sample them either. I love doing fun things like this for the kids and I’m sure her class will enjoy them!