These kids are fresh.

Sometimes, I question my abilities as a parent, but then I speak to friends who assure me that their little ones are equally fresh down the street, or across the country and it makes me feel better.

At dinner last night, Taylor was digging into her chicken and rice with her fingers. I asked her to please use her utensils and her response was “Why, if this way is working just fine?” Fresh.

I’m trying to teach the kids body awareness and responsibility from an early age. They know the proper names for all of their body parts, which I think is super important. The boys are a bit too young to completely understand the entire concepts I’m trying to teach and enforce with Taylor, but Jacks proved he was listening. When I was changing his diaper this morning he shook his little chubby fingers at me and scolded me. He said “No, mama! You don’t touch. That’s my penis!” Fresh. Accurate, but fresh.

Joseph woke up screaming this morning and told me that his brother bit him. When I went in the room to check, I asked Jack if he did actually bite his brother. His response: “Ya! Like this.” He proceeded to show me how he bit him and then put himself in time out. Fresh.

The kids destroyed the playroom while I was getting dinner in the oven last night. I asked them to please clean up, and both boys said something in their native language, looked at me, said “Go away, mama!” and they closed the playroom door on me. As I was standing there staring at a closed door, I heard one of these knuckle heads yell “all clean” followed by lots of laughter. Fresh.

Now, I’m definitely not a pushover. They get time outs for hurting each other, they are forced to apologize and make up with each other, and they did end up cleaning the playroom, but the little things they say and do that are so fresh, get me every time.

Days like today, where they are hanging from the dishwasher, pouring milk on the floor just so they can lap it up like the dog does, hiding the clicker so Taylor can’t change the channel from the show they are watching, putting on a manhunt for Ranger’s penis, unplugging the DVD player because the movie they want isn’t playing, etc.; I remind myself how I have a lifetime of fresh ahead of me, and I embrace the crazy for the time being. I’d probably be bored if they were perfect angels.

I have Taylor to thank for my daily dose of cuteness and reminding me that she’s usually not too fresh. I showed her the spot where Todd proposed to me and this is how the conversation went:

M: This is where Daddy asked me to marry him. Isn’t that cool?

T: WHAT? You guys are getting married?! Who is going to take care of me and the boys then?!?

She was genuinely concerned and it was way too adorable.