The boys are exactly two and a half years old today. Where did the time go? More importantly, why have they not started acting like actual humans yet? These two have a weird obsession with poop. I’ve heard it’s “a boy thing.” I’ve heard it’s “an age thing.” I’ve heard that it is “because there are two of them and they are testing their limits” with me. No matter the reason, it’s getting old. And I’m running out of bleach.

We had a long, late night with Jackson, especially who was screaming most of the night for what seemed like no apparent reason. Extra cuddles, sips of water, a new diaper, etc. didn’t seem to help. We ended up giving him Motrin an hour and a half into his screaming match because he was complaining about his ear / head hurting. Poor guy probably gave himself a headache. I know he gave me one. He seems to be fine this morning, other than a case of the hiccups, which are really irritating him. The boys used to get hiccups all the time while in my belly. He still might not be feeling 100% from whatever he had the other day. I’m hoping to wait it out and avoid a pediatrician visit, but we’ll see. While I was getting Taylor’s clothes out for the morning, I heard Jackson yelling “I want to get out.” He says this often. I yelled down the hall that I’d be right there. When I walked in, they were seemingly gone, and the room had a very unsavory aroma. I found the two of them under the covers in Joseph’s bed (hiding from me) with poop footprints all around. I am just about out of ideas with these two. I can not put them back in cribs because they climbed out well before they were two. I can’t separate them because we don’t have the space. I can’t cage them because I think that’s illegal. I kid, I kid. They don’t care about punishment. I think I am going to have to go buy sleep sacks and do them backwards and inside out and hope they don’t figure it out. I’m welcome to suggestions.

I’ve said this before, but they are lucky they are so cute. They make the occasional 1am screaming and the *literal* crap they make me endure that much more bearable. Here’s to hoping and wishing the next 2.5 years, they lose the poop habit or learn to clean up after themselves.

 

 

Happy Easter (a day late) to those who celebrate. My little bunnies had enough sugar to last them the rest of the year! They woke up to an egg hunt with 24, candy-filled eggs (and a few dog bones, which Jackson happily tried to eat anyway). They were throwing jelly beans back like they were shots. The kids opened their Easter baskets, and were very excited to go through their goodies. The favorite of all three was the movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Road Chip. They have now watched it a few times and can’t stop laughing. Their little laughs are so contagious. It’s also good to have another movie in rotation! Taylor also adorably calls them the “chickmunks” even though she knows the proper word for the small critters that live in our backyard.

All three kids woke up with little fevers yesterday morning. Their sugar rush (and Motrin) kept them going through breakfast with my family. They had a blast finding more eggs (and collecting more candy) but they were soon done. Joseph came home and passed out as soon as I put the blanket over him. Taylor rested and read books, and poor Jack cried for a while. He couldn’t get comfortable. He couldn’t be consoled and we knew Joseph needed the rest, so Todd brought Jack into our bed to see if he would nap. After an hour of being an “only child” and feeling like a big shot, he passed out on his daddy’s chest. It was the cutest thing to see. He was so comfy!

We had a mostly relaxing day today aside from the kids not feeling 100% still and Jackson needing a suppository for tummy issues. That is one of my least favorite things to do as a parent! Unfortunately, he’s had it done before and knows what the packaging looks like. When he saw me take it out, he yelled “No butt! No butt! Go in Joseph’s butt! Joseph’s butt!” He was willing to throw this one his brother’s way. Thankfully, my parents helped us stock up on prune juice last time this happened, so Jack is enjoying that – as much as a person can enjoy prune juice…

As Taylor was having dessert tonight, (a disgusting marshmallow Peep) she said: “Hey mom, do you know how babies are made?” Todd and I gave each other a quick look before telling her I had no idea and asking what her thoughts were. She said “Babies come from eating food! I was made from marshmallows, pizza, cucumbers, and apple-berry pie!” Good to know! She also asked if she could have a baby in her tummy soon, and that did not go over well with Todd!

I wish my littles would feel better and stay better, but it’s so difficult between the boys being preemies, the weather being so back and forth, and Taylor’s school germs. We will get there though! Until then, we will take all the chipmunks and the snuggles we can get!

Also, Happy 40th (whoa!) Birthday to Todd’s best friend, Kevin. You two are so darn pretty and we love you!

 

 

How many more of those days can I have?  I feel like every time I have something “good” to write about, it has been one of those days. Today is no different, and I am sure I am destined for more insanity in this life with these kids.

Ranger was due for a haircut and had his mobile groomer show up today to help him out.  She got here just as the boys were waking up from nap.  Can you even call it nap if it was 25 minutes?  Anyway, I stepped out onto the front step to hand off Ranger and say hello.  I was outside for maybe three minutes.  When I walked back in, I heard the boys talking to each other.  I heard them saying things like “Mmmm, good! / I want more cookies. I have some?” I was trying to figure out where they got cookies from or how they busted out of their bedroom (which has a child safety doorknob lock on it) to raid the kitchen.  The next sentence I heard made my stomach flip, made my face turn white, and made my blood pressure instantly rise.  “I want more poop, please.” No. It couldn’t be.  I was outside for three minutes.  Sure enough, I walked in to find the most disgusting scene I have ever witnessed.  These animals had completed a poop masterpiece on the walls and were now snacking on it.  It took everything I had not to get sick right then and there.  They also got a bit on the floor, bureau, every piece of hardware to the bureau and every furniture lock.  They had the back of their bedroom door smeared, and they were starting on the closet doors.  I snapped a few quick pictures as I was escorting them to the bathtub, because at that point, I had nothing to lose.  The pictures honestly don’t do justice, but you get the idea.  I figured I could take these pictures out when their first girlfriends come over or something. They were clearly proud of their work.

After scrubbing them in the tub, thoroughly cleaning the insides of their mouths, and scrubbing their room, I voice chatted with Auntie Kiki.  If I didn’t have another adult to speak to at that moment, I was going to lose it.  She may have laughed at my situtation, but at that point it was a little bit funny. We agreed that it might be a good idea to call the pediatrician’s office to see if there was anything else I should be doing.  Did they need antibiotics or something else to ensure they didn’t get sick from this?  The nurse practitioner called me back and I told her I needed help with an embarrassing situation.  Thankfully, this woman is beyond amazing and knows us and the kids well, from all of the million phone calls and visits we’ve had the past few years.  Hi Nurse Dineen! We love you! As soon as I told her what happened, she said “I knew it! Knowing their ages and the fact that you said it was embarrassing, I knew what you were going to say!”  She assured me that I was not the first person to have kids do this, I wouldn’t be the last, and they would be just fine.  She also prescribed me a large glass of wine.

I love these kids with all my heart; I honestly do.  Today, however, I just think of the boys as being equivalents to monkeys in a zoo.

 

National Puppy Day? It sounds like something from one of Taylor’s story books. I’ve never really understood these bogus “holidays,” but an entire day dedicated to puppies? I’ll take it! Our puppy (he will always be called that, no matter how old he is) happens to be the best companion for all of us. He is pretty much my shadow. He waits for me while I shower, he sits next to me (or on me) on the sofa, he begs to come in the car with me, and he sleeps cuddled against me in bed at night. Although he’s my buddy, he loves Todd and the kids, too. He’s especially fond of Taylor. He can not wait until her bedroom door opens so he can see her. He sits on the floor staring up at her bed and whines when he wants her to wake up. He covers her in kisses each day as she leaves for school, and is equally as excited to see her upon returning home. It really is amazing for me to see that they have such a strong bond. She calls him her “little baby” and spoils the heck out of him, as it should be. She even said to me yesterday: “Mom, we need to make sure the Easter Bunny brings something for Ranger. Since he doesn’t have a basket, he can share space in mine.”

Taylor and her class made adorable bunny baskets at school (thank you to everyone who helped collect milk cartons for her class) and grew grass in them. She couldn’t wait to get home and show Ranger, but she wanted to make sure he knew that he “couldn’t pee on this kind of grass.”

After school, we made a Costco trip. It’s always interesting, mostly because I get stopped 48272 times for people to tell me I have my hands full and ask if the boys are twins. When we walked into the cooler section, the boys started screaming “Milk! Milk!” They were so excited! Taylor even asked if we could take a picture with all of the milk. Whatever keeps them happy. Anyone who knows Costco knows that on the way out, they check your receipt against your purchases and make a mark on your receipt. Well, Taylor has gotten very used to all of the people there making a happy face on our receipt for her. When the woman handed her back the receipt today, T studied it hard and then said “Umm, hey lady! You did this ticket wrong!” The woman looked at us like she was worried that she actually made a mistake. I had to explain to Taylor that not all people make happy faces and she should just appreciate it when she gets it. Secretly, I wanted to crack up and had to hold my composure.

I can not adequately describe how amazingly fun our day was yesterday, but I sure will try.  Todd’s best friend / college roommate, Kevin, is turning 40 soon (although with the amount of time he spends at estate sales, you’d think he was at least 70). Just kidding.  Todd and I were actually talking about how funny it is that he and Kevin have known each other for over half of Kevin’s life.  It seems like such a long time, when you put it that way. We drove down to New Jersey to “surprise” him for lunch.  It was the first time the kids have been in the car for an extended period of time.  We were so worried that it was going to be an epic disaster, but we were so pleasantly surprised with all three of them!  We got a dual screen dvd player for the car, which I think made all the difference in the world.  Between the Minions and Frozen, the kids were set.  They were eerily quiet on the way there, except for when we got over the Tapanzee Bridge and Jacks started saying “I want to go home now. I want to get out.”  He got over it quickly and was fine the rest of the ride.

We had lunch with Kevin, Mary, and Meghan and it was just so good to see them.  It definitely makes you think about how you really wish you lived closer to your good friends!  Lunch was fun.  The kids filled up on mostly french fries and appetizers and little of their actual meal, but I wasn’t about to complain after how well they were behaving.  It was so cute to see our two redheads, Taylor and Meghan, play together.  They had some cute conversations, and Taylor is definitely missing her today!

 

After lunch, we went down to the boardwalk.  I had never been there, so it was so incredible to see.  The beaches were sandy and beautiful and the water was so blue.  It was way too cold to enjoy the beach for real, but it sure was beautiful to look at!  We went to an aquarium where the kids got to watch the seals being fed.  Taylor, especially, thought it was fun to see.  It was smaller and laid out differently than our aquarium, so she got to see a lot better and was really intrigued.  Part of the way through the seal feeding, the boys were getting antsy, so we walked around with them.  There was a little tank filled with jellyfish.  As I was showing Joseph how beautiful they were, I realized that his tiny hand was going inside the locked bottom half of the tank.  He had found the power button for the tank and was trying to power it down.  I am glad he didn’t succeed with his mission!  We saw penguins (they were my absolute favorite) and lots of other creatures.

We spent some time afterward at an arcade where the girls played a few games.  Jackson was watching an older boy play a game in which tickets came out as a reward.  He apparently thought it was really cool, because he quickly ripped off a section of the kid’s tickets – right out of the machine.  The kid looked up at me like I had just told him Santa Claus had retired, but he graciously accepted my apology and received his tickets back.  Joseph had the only true meltdown of the day when we went to leave the arcade, but he wasn’t ready.  He screamed loudly (and for a long time) and turned quite a few heads.  We even drew the attention of a few police officers, but no arrests were made.  The girls went on a motorcycle ride, went to a candy shop, and played a fishing game.  Taylor caught two small fish during this game.  She was told that she could either choose two small stuffed fish, or one medium fish as a prize.  She chose the two small prizes and picked a red fish and a blue fish.  She turned around and said “Mom, Can I give these fish to the boys now?  I got two so they could have one each.”  I was so incredibly proud of her thoughtfulness.

Since the boys skipped nap, they fell asleep on the way home.  Taylor talked…the entire way. We stopped at the last rest stop in NJ for some cheap gas ($1.71, full service!!!) and got some coffee and water.  I never knew Starbucks shops existed at rest stops, but I was not complaining!  By this time, the boys woke up screaming their heads off.  They were still tired and uncomfortable from falling asleep with their heads in an awkward position.  We got them out of their seats for a bit, changed diapers, and put on pajamas.  After starting another movie and having a few snacks, they were good to go and made it the rest of the way home without incident. Taylor did tell us she was “really sick of driving around in all these circles to get home,” but she managed fine as well.  It is nice to know that the kids can actually handle a drive like that so that we can do this again.  We really want to go back when it is nice and warm out.

Thankfully, Auntie (Diane) stayed with Ranger for a good portion of the afternoon so I did not have to worry about him being alone all day.  He got lots of love and cuddles and was really excited to see us when we got home!  The kids were so exhausted after a fun filled day.  They went to bed really late since they had a newfound energy when we arrived home, but Todd found the boys passed out, snuggled with each other on the floor in their bedroom, just after midnight.

 

 

Today was a crazy day.  As usual, we went down by the water to feed the ducks and birds. As I opened the window to toss out some food, a seagull above lost bowel control and did a huge poop. Like I said, the window was open. It was a really windy day, especially on the water. You do the math… Taylor was not impressed and told the bird how rude he was.

After we dropped her off at school, the boys and I were driving home and I noticed a huge amount of poop on the back window. I put the rear wipers on and began to spray washer fluid to clean the mess, only it didn’t work. I tried and tried again, to no avail. I couldn’t figure it out. During the third attempt, Jackson started screaming. I figured he was tired because it was nap time and I told him to quiet down and we would be home soon. I sprayed the back window one more time and Jack’s screams intensified. I looked back at a red light and realized that the windshield washer fluid was leaking into my car and splashing my kid. The poor boy. I felt so bad. I cleaned it up and calmed him down and all was well.  I have to take my car in for a service appointment, but at least I know not to use the fluid for now. The entire remainder of the day, Jackson would look at where the leak was in the car and say “No more spray! No more spray!” He was so happy.

Late this afternoon, we took the kids to the car wash since the exterior was covered in poop. The inside was just as bad and was basically a sandbox made of street salt and cheerio dust. The kids had so much fun at the car wash. They were so impressed by the entire concept and they loved that they could help spray all of the cars!

We left the car wash and headed up the street to the diner at Taylor’s request. As soon as we got there, Todd realized that there was a nice iPhone 6 in the front of the car that didn’t belong to either of us. We noticed it also had the license of a man who helped us at the car wash, stuck inside the case. We turned right around to return it. Taylor was a little upset that we weren’t going inside to eat right away but we took the opportunity to explain that this man was missing his phone and returning it would be the right thing to do. I think every single person who worked at the car wash called this phone as we were driving back to return it. I didn’t answer the calls because we were almost there, but they were very clearly looking for it. I jumped out of the car and held the phone up and the guys outside all started cheering and said “He’s inside! You are going to make him so happy!” I went inside, found the man and returned the phone. He was elated. He actually said “I love you! I love you so much! You are such a good person for bringing it back. I didn’t know where it fell out! I’m going to hug you now!” And he did. I assured him that it was no problem and I was happy to return the phone. He insisted on escorting me back to the car and said “Really. You don’t know how much I appreciate this. I don’t have the money to buy a new one. I really wish I had something to give you.” I promised him I wanted nothing in return and that I was just doing what I hope someone would do for me and setting a good example for my kids. He thanked our whole family, told me not to go anywhere, and came back with a card for a free car wash. As we drove away, Taylor said “Mom, he really was happy. That was nice of us to do!”

Even on days where you are literally crapped on, you can still be kind to others.

 

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! We had a special visitor in the middle of the night. Taylor woke up this morning to tell me that there were green footprints all over the bathroom mirror. She was very intrigued.  We quickly realized that a little leprechaun, named Lucky paid us a visit and left his footprints, a note, some chocolate, and a dog bone behind for a St. Patrick’s Day treat. Taylor was so incredibly excited and couldn’t wait to go get her brothers up so she could show them. She also had to call my mom to tell her about it and warn her to check her own bathroom.

My three leprechauns were excited to wear green outfits today, and I have to say; they looked pretty cute. The boys ran around the house chanting “green!” I guess they were in the spirit of the day. Either that, or they were enjoying being just like their big sister.  Taylor did fun projects at school involving St. Patrick’s Day including “Pot of Gold Graphing” and she made a hat with a shamrock (which the boys immediately tried to destroy when they saw her with it on).

After the boys took a too short nap, we went to pick Taylor up from school.  They were being so fresh and not listening at all when I was trying to get them into the car. They were running into the back yard, trying to rip the electrical wires off the side of the house, and throwing rocks. I clipped them into their car seats and told them how I was not happy with the way they were acting and that they needed to be better listeners or they would find themselves spending a lot of time in time-out. They could not even see each other since I was sitting in the seat between them, but they did a “twin thing” and both put their fingers in their ears simultaneously and began saying “la la la la la la” out loud, as I was talking. Let me tell you how hard it was to not crack up as they were doing it. They are so darn fresh!

Just one more small thought for the day before I crawl in a hole and hide:

When your boys are supposed to be napping and instead you hear “Penis, Out! Penis, Out!” followed by “Oh! Hi penis!” it never ends well.

I’m off to Amazon to see if they sell even stronger duct tape.

Taylor and I were sitting in the family room watching a bit of Tom and Jerry (her favorite) before school. The boys wandered off to the playroom to do their thing. I check on them every few minutes, because even though they are in a “safe space,” they still get into trouble. For example; one of their favorite activities is flipping over their comfy Pottery Barn sofa chairs, unzipping them, and pulling apart the foam that’s inside.

Anyway, as we were sitting there, the entire downstairs began to get really warm. The sun was shining down through the sliding glass doors, so I didn’t think too much of it at first. Then, I started to smell something different. It smelled like when our heat kicks on, only a bit different. It was amplified. I walk into the playroom to find out that the boys had turned up the heat. They turned it up to 90 degrees. No joke. If I’m going to be in 90 degree temperatures, I’d prefer it to be an island somewhere. Apparently, when you have one twin steady the tool bench, the other can easily climb atop it and maneuver the heating controls. I watched them attempt it again later in the day, so I know how they managed it. It looks like we are going to need to rearrange the room again or invest in some sort of lock for the heat control…

The kids and I went to a book fair at Taylor’s school today. It was so busy, as school was just letting out, but we had lots of fun. There were so many fun books to choose from. Each kid got to pick one book to purchase. Taylor chose a book about a crayon, that’s called RED. She said she needed that one because “red is my favorite color, you know, because it matches my beautiful red hair.” Fair enough. It was a cute book. Jackson chose a book which was also very fitting for him. It was called I’m Dirty, and is about construction vehicles. Joseph, naturally, and not surprisingly, chose a “choo-choo book” called Freight Train. We also purchased a book for Taylor’s class that the teacher had on a wish list.

The kids definitely kept things interesting and provided entertainment for all of the shoppers, as they are so accustomed to doing.  Jackson destructed an entire display of books. When people say things can happen in a second, it’s true. All I did was let go of his hand for one second to take out my credit card and he knocked over an entire cardboard shelf of books. I’m not talking about four or five books here. He watched at least fifty paper back books rain down around him, and he was proud! If I had been neglectful, it would be one thing, but I was RIGHT THERE getting my credit card. As I was cleaning up his carnage, Joseph went “missing” for a second. I had my body positioned in such a way that I knew he couldn’t get away from me so I wasn’t really worried, but for a split second, I couldn’t see him. He had set up camp under the table (covered with a plastic table cloth) and was reading his new book. He won’t sit still and read a book at home, but there, he needed peace and quiet. Thankfully, my girl was well-behaved, as she usually is. When all was said and done, the woman who was checking us out (and saw our whole circus act play out) looked at me and said “You’re doing a great job, mom. I know I couldn’t handle all of that and you’ve got it covered.” It was the exact thing I needed to hear at that moment. We made it back through the parking lot without dismantling anything further and came right home to read. These little bookworms couldn’t wait and were less than thrilled to pose for a picture.